I need help with my wedding ring!! PURLEASE!!


Jun 28, 2012
Hello all, I thought I was a fan of pearl until I found this site and now I realise that I know nothing and my expertise are completely limited to "theyr'e so pretty"! So finding Pearl-Guide has been absolutely amazing!

So, here's my dilemma: I would like a pearl wedding ring, but have so many questions and concerns. I'm getting married and we're leaving the UK on Sunday the 16th September (not for good - we're returning three weeks later but obviously I would prefer my ring before we leave!) giving me 11 weeks and 3 days to either find the ring of my dreams already made (doubtful), or find a somebody who will commision me a bespoke ring within my budget (fingers crossed). However, before I proceed I want to know if I'm doing the right thing, so any help with the following questions would very much be appreciated.

Is a pearl ring appropriate for everyday wear? I hadnt given it a second thought until I stearted researching it but now I have doubts. I work in healthcare and was planning on wearing it on a chain for work and that this would be the only time I would take it off my person, but I'm now left wondering if this would be the case. There is some conflicting information out there such as whether or not to remove it when showering (some say yes as it damages the nacre, others say that pearls don't mind soap) and swimming (I presumed chlorine wouldn't be brilliant for it but that seawater would be fine, even for freshwater pearls?). When we get married I don't want to have to be worrying every 5 mins that if we go diving, surfing, biking, hiking etc. that I should have to take it off. Also, I had bee told by my grandmother that wearing pearls is good for them due to the natural oils on the skin, but I have read others' stating the opposite? Additionally, I'm really clumsy and some of the information available suggests that pearls are very easily damaged - I went to see a jeweller who flat out told me that pearl rings are suitable only for occasional wear due to their vulnerability and that I shouldn't even be considering a pearl for a wedding ring. This is saddening as unfortunately I just don't seem to like much else! Or am I being too cautious?

What type of pearl? From the research I've done, I think a freshwater button or a keshi would be best for me. This is because they are more durable and hardwearing (?), and also because I don't want anything that sits too high. Therefore a lovely flat keshi would be perfect, but then some ring designs of buttons I prefer...arrgghhh! However, am I going along the right lines in the way I am researching what is best for me? I have also considered seed pearls as they would sit much more flatly but I can't seem to find any designs that I like...any ideas?

My style This is a hard one to nail down as I'm an indecisive, contradictory character and I have a very eclectic style! Generally I LOVE vintage/antique clothes and accessories, however, I have found that when it comes to rings a lot of these desings are a bit too fussy for me and I have much preferred something simple, or contemporary, therefore a band that will keep my pearl safe whilst not housing other gems is something that I prefer. That being said, intricasies within the design of the metal are sometimes appealing (flowers, swirls etc.). All I know for sure is that I want a white metal. Here are some designs that I am currently looking at, in order of preference:

This is my favourite so far, I'm just awaiting info on the type of pearl it is (see, I told you I know nothing!), and trying to work out if it will sit too high on my finger...that being said it is only a small pearl which is what I want. I like that the housing comes to the top offering style and protection, but that the beauty of the pearl can still be seen from the sides. However, would this be very vulnerable?


This one I love too as it sits nice and flat, and the hammering of the metal complements the texture of the pearl


I really like the flatness of this ring along with the design; I'm currently awaiting info on how the pearl is attached to the housing as the view from the side looks a little like if it were loose it would fall out....?


This is an unique and unusual alternative


This one goes back to a nice simple design


and I wondered if a pearl could be put into housing like this?


or this?


So any advice, tips or handy hints would be GREATLY appreciated...I'm sure this message highlights how clueless/time-strapped/panicked I am about this! Sorry about the super long message, but my previous reasons are why.

Also, I'm in the north west of england and the closer something is to me, the better, as I can actually see what something would look like on my finger. I know from reading previous threads within this topic that there is a lady near me so I will go back through and find her. However, that doesn't mean that I'm opposed to an international designer/jeweller so if any of you know someone who has designs to suit my needs and taste, they'd be very welcome. Lastly, my budget is 400 GBP/ 620 USD.

Many thanks in advance

You may mean me since I am in the North West
There are pros and cons to having a pearl ring you are going to wear all the time. Pearls are tough if thumped - I enjoy banging one down hard on a table to demonstrate this, but they do scratch easily. they don't seem to mind immersion in reasonably clean water but could absorb chemicals as they are porous. It is the silk in a necklace which doesn't like to get wet - damp silk will rot very quickly. Pearls are made in water.
So realistically what you can do is accept that the ring as a whole can be the ring of your dreams but the pearl may have to be changed at some time in the future depending on how wear goes.
You are very welcome to contact me to take this further
Hi Wendy, I did indeed mean you! I'm in New Brighton on the Wirral and so you are not too far at all. I shall visit at some point in the coming weeks. Many thanks, Neen :)
I did mean you Wendy! I replied to this but can't see it so will do again. I'm in the Wirral so I will endeavour to come and see you soon to have a look at some pearls in person and get some ideas/advice. Many thanks :)
In a jewellery related board, peeps are often advised against having pearls for long term wear as a ring, for reasons mentioned by Wendy.

They also advise against having softer gemstones such as Tarzanite for a ring.

DK :)
Wow Neen, You picked some good choices up there. I think you can work with Wendy to come up with something in your taste. I loved that flat keshi, the first one. Also a nice coin pearl sits really flat. I like those and they would be easy to replace, if needed. Good luck and please keep us posted on your progress.
Thanks...I did indeed meet up with Wendy and have decided to go with a pearl which I'm VERY pleased about! In the end I thought I could have a ring that lasted a lifetime, but that I could spend a lifetime looking at it and thinking "hmmmm, wish it were a pearl", which would be far worse than a pearl getting a bit aged!
If you bought that first ring, you could just replace the pearl each time it had too much wear. It looks like a wedding ring and it has some protection for the pearl. :cool:

Well, you posted while I was writing this. Even better to pick something out from a new friend! I hope you love your ring and remember that Wendy can always help you to replace the pearl, if necessary. Just enjoy it! :)
We've picked a stunning mirror metallic button which popped so much on Neen's finger. I'm making the whole ring..no pressure then!
haha, I know - I'm generally pretty indecisive by nature but Wendy was great in advising us of the colours that suit my skin, and the designs that would most suit the pearl so in the end it wasn't a hard decision!
Then you can pick out a pendant and earrings when you pick up your ring.... It never stops! :cool:
Wendy and I were unable to see the ring through to the end together as I changed my mind and went for something completely different (turns out I am even more indecisive than I previously realised...which is saying something!). However, I cannot recommend her highly enough to anyone UK based as she has a great selection of beautful pearls (I have kept three for a future project of some kind as I could not bear to go without any, and will be definitely having some more in the future!), and lots of knowledge and honest advice - on pearls and jewellery in general - which has been invaluable to me as I really am a bit wishy-washy! So thank you very much Wendy, and as I said - if you are UK based and want pearls/pearl info...you can't go wrong with Wendy!