Another clueless husband with good intentions

[Cole]

So I have a myriad of questions about finding my wife the right pearl necklace for our upcoming annaversery. I imagine if I did enough searching I could find answers to most of them at various places throughout the Internet, but asking a bunch of pros seems a lot easier for a guy who is really not that interested in fashion or jewelry. Really, all I care is that she loves whatever I buy her and I use the due diligence in picking it out.

First up size. I guess it really does matter huh? Lucky for me my wife is a pretty small girl, 5'3 maybe 110, so my biggest worry is what is gonna look "too" big on her. I assume there is a point of diminishing returns when it comes to size, right? Also she is only 25, one website I read had a whole article about the appropriate size of pearl and really seemed concerned with the age of the woman who was to be wearing them. That sounded outright silly to me, but again I am just some dude that knows nothing about jewelry or fashion.

Next up, and the big money question, freshwater or something more pricy? I am totally cool with blowing a small fortune on a worthwhile investment, but there are several factors I am concerned about. The first being if I do blow my wad on a really nice pearl necklace is she going to wear it as much as if it were less expensive? This seems counter intutitive, but I am worried that she may think it's just too expensive to wear all the time. I mean I want her to use the darn thing. Second, one website listed the qualities and characteristics of the different pearls and I noticed that they specifically listed the freshwater and akoya as "NOT Investment Quality", while the Tahitian and South Pacific pearls were listed as "Investment Quality". Are pearls a fluctuating market commodity? I assume they don't decrease in value anyway, or do they?

Now that we're talking about the pricier pearls, should I go with Tahitian Black or South Pacific White? Keep in mind I want her to use this thing as much as possible. I think the Tahitian black pearls are really intriguing, but again I am worried she wouldn't find as much use out of those as a white pearl necklace. White pearls seem like something you could wear just about every day, Lisa Simpson does anyway, are black pearls as versitle? This will be her first, and for a long time only pearl necklace.

While we're on the topic of wearing this thing a lot, what about durability? I've ruled out the Akoya as if seems pretty clear that while they are pretty they are not "built to last". How do the others compare to each other?

Lastly, how do I know I am getting quality merchandise? I am all about buying on the Internet, I bought her engagement ring, the rock, and her wedding all online and I got a steal on all three. That was a bit easier though because they all came with either certificates of authenticity or a GIA certificate. Darrell at Union Diamond is awesome by the way, dudes if you're in the market for a rock for your girlfriend you will NOT be sorry if you get it from him. Her rock would have EASILY cost me twice as much at any local jewelry store. I am a fan of quality over quantity, kinda like my wife, it's ok that she is kinda small, because she is perfect. I want her jewelry to be as close to perfect as possible to make sure she isn't contaminated by inferior product. ;P I am pretty sure I want the pearls to be AAA, but is ere really a big difference between AAA and AA+? If the dealer says the necklace is AAA does that mean that ALL of the pearls will be at least AAA?

Thanks for reading my novel here, any input is appreciated. I am about a month away from D-Day, so I need to get this thing hammered out soon!

 

[KAC]

First up size. I guess it really does matter huh.......?

Traditionally the older a woman is the larger the pearls. Its not that younger women can't wear big pearls its more that small pearls don't look great on older women IMO. "My pearls are too big" is rarely a complaint we hear, so I wouldn't worry about getting something too large unless you're looking at 10mm+ pearls. Somewhere in the 7-9mm range is probably where you want to look.

Next up, and the big money question, freshwater or something more pricy? I am totally cool with blowing a small fortune on a worthwhile investment, but there are several factors I am concerned about. The first being if I do blow my wad on a really nice pearl necklace is she going to wear it as much as if it were less expensive? This seems counter intutitive, but I am worried that she may think it's just too expensive to wear all the time. I mean I want her to use the darn thing. Second, one website listed the qualities and characteristics of the different pearls and I noticed that they specifically listed the freshwater and akoya as "NOT Investment Quality", while the Tahitian and South Pacific pearls were listed as "Investment Quality". Are pearls a fluctuating market commodity? I assume they don't decrease in value anyway, or do they?

"expensive" is a relative term so its hard to make any recommendation there but I understand what you mean. You don't want to spend a ton of money only to have the thing sit in a jewelry box only coming out on special occasions. The term "investment quality" just makes them sound fancier, in other words its marketing.

Now that we're talking about the pricier pearls, should I go with Tahitian Black or South Pacific White? Keep in mind I want her to use this thing as much as possible. I think the Tahitian black pearls are really intriguing, but again I am worried she wouldn't find as much use out of those as a white pearl necklace. White pearls seem like something you could wear just about every day, Lisa Simpson does anyway, are black pearls as versitle? This will be her first, and for a long time only pearl necklace.

Tahitian and South Sea pearls are very different types of pearls but you're right most women will get more use out a white pearl necklace then a black pearl necklace. It really depends on her personal style and tastes, can't go wrong with either one though.

While we're on the topic of wearing this thing a lot, what about durability? I've ruled out the Akoya as if seems pretty clear that while they are pretty they are not "built to last". How do the others compare to each other?


High quality Akoya pearls shouldn't have issues with durability, at least for many many years but you're right they do have thin nacre and can wear through. Gem grade freshwater pearls are a good choice, you get extremely high quality and the pearls are solid nacre so no durability issues. Tahitian and South Sea are a safe bet, both have very thick nacre.

Lastly, how do I know I am getting quality merchandise?

Go with a reputable dealer, make sure you have a decent return policy and ensure the item comes with a detailed appraisal/cert.

I am pretty sure I want the pearls to be AAA, but is ere really a big difference between AAA and AA+? If the dealer says the necklace is AAA does that mean that ALL of the pearls will be at least AAA?

There is a noticable difference between AAA and AA+ but both are nice. Personally I think you're better off getting a slightly smaller AAA then a bigger AA+.

 

[jshepherd]

Those are a lot of questions, but I'll try going down the line.

Size
I completely agree with you that tying size to age is silly even to the point of being slightly old school. The size of pearl a woman wears should be determined by a) what complements her frame and neck, b) the wearer's personal style and c) when and where she plans to wear the pearls - are they for a special occasion such as her wedding, or are they going to be for daily wear.

If you are looking to play it safe, go with the most popular size range, which falls between 7 mm and 9 mm. 7 mm tends to be just slightly on the conservative side, while 9 mm is where pearls begin to be considered large. If you feel you know her style well, you could easily push the size in either direction.

Length is another consideration, and based on the physical description you gave, she would likely get the most wear out of a shorter, 16-inch strand.

Price
Comparing freshwater to akoya, you can certainly get more for your money with freshwater. Today's freshwater pearls can be round like akoya, and often have very similar luster. However, akoya pearls are the classic type of pearl. To most people, when they think of pearls, they imagine a perfectly round strand of white, lustrous pearls. For the most part, those are akoya.

Tahitian and South Sea are quite a different genre. Tahitians are fantastic for someone with a strong sense of fashion and style. They often have the most colors within individual pearls, and definitely give off an exotic vibe. South Sea pearls, on the other hand, are quite large yet somewhat subdued. They have more of a regal look in their average sizes.

In terms of an investment, you asked the perfect question. The answer is no. Pearls are not like gold or diamonds. They are not commoditized, and to suggest that one should consider them an investment in the financial sense (expectation of a future gain) is simply irresponsible. In the 1980's, a fine Tahitian pearl strand easily fetched $100,000 or more. If one were to buy the same strands today, they could easily be found for 1/10th of the price.

Purchasing pearls is a personal investment in something beautiful for you or a loved one. If thinking about an investment, go with gold or diamonds.

Tahitian black or South Sea white
I touched on this in an earlier paragraph. I should point out that based strictly on popularity, Tahitian pearls trump white South Sea by a large margin.

Durability
Akoya pearls are indeed the most fragile of all cultured pearls - they have a large bead implant with a thin layer of nacre covering the bead. That said, if you have a fine strand of akoya pearls, they should last a lifetime- if well cared for. They will likely turn creamy with age, but should remain lustrous.
Freshwater pearls are, for the most part, composed of solid nacre. This means that they have no bead implant, and is why "having thick nacre" is not considered a quality attribute for freshwater. Freshwater pearls are, however, more porous than saltwater pearls and tend to take on more of their environment over time.
South Sea and Tahitian pearls are bead-nucleated, but have thicker nacre than akoya. They are considered the most durable.

Quality and grading
There is no grading standard, unfortunately. The Tahitian government came up with a standard for Tahitian pearls, but akoya, freshwater and South Sea are largely unregulated. That means dealers have wide latitude calling their pearls "clean" and "AAA." I would suggest only dealing with dealers with a strong return policy.

These are two questions I would ask if you are interested in a strand that is listed as a) perfectly round, b) clean and c) AAA. Are all the pearls true 8-way rollers? Is there a SINGLE spot on any of the pearls? In my experience, true AAA in South Sea and Tahitian are only made from separated earring and pendant lots - one to zero spot. Something almost impossibly to find on the wholesale market. They have to be made, often by the dealer.

I hope this helps.

 

[pearlescence]

Can I throw in a few practicalities
age/size. Pah. totally up to the individual and anyone who says differently is a bossyboots. Tip - what other necklaces does she wear all the time - this could give a good clue as to size of bead and length she prefers

type of pearl...have you considered some pinks or lavenders? they can be incredibly flattering to most skin tones and don't look quite so 'pearl and twin-set ' for a younger wearer
finally, yes, you will get a great deal if you buy from a specialist pearl retailer such as can be found here (although of course I would say that!)
Otherwise I second everything Jeremy said

 

[Pearl Dreams]

Do you have a reason for thinking she would want to wear her pearls often vs. just for special occasions/at work? Has she shown any interest in pearls before?

If you think she would most likely want to wear them for dressy occasions/business attire, I suggest you look at the hanadama akoyas. You cannot go wrong with the best.

If you have reason to think she would want to wear the pearls a lot, consider higher-end freshwaters-- maybe even multicolored ones. I wear my various strands of naturally-colored freshwater pearls often -- they go with anything.

You can always plan to buy Tahitians or South Sea pearls for future anniversaries.

 

[Daddys Little Pearl]

I would also think about her color preferences in clothing. If she wears mostly black or dark colors especially when "dressed up", then the darker Tahitians might not be a good choice and white South Sea, or even the other colors would be better. Does she wear beads at all right now? If so, measure some of them for both length and bead size. These are good clues as to what she likes.

 

[Sea Urchin]

You will probably get as many different answers as answerers, lol. Here's mine. From what you've posted, I think it's a safe bet. An exception that I can think of is if she is definitely not the conventional type. This might not work for an ink and multiple piercings gal, haha:

This: Freshadama strand, white (because it goes with everything and is the classic) 7.5-8.0mm, 18 inch. (Rose-silver overtone, and whichever metal color matches her wedding rings). $345

http://www.pearlparadise.com/7580-mm-White-Freshadama-Freshwater-Pearl-Necklace746.aspx

And this: Freshadama stud earrings (ask them to match them to the strand) 8.5-9.0 $106.

http://www.pearlparadise.com/8590-mm-White-Freshadama-Freshwater-Pearl-Stud-Earrings-774.aspx

That's about $450 for the set, top quality and a great price, in my opinion (I'm just a pearl lover, not a seller or an expert). You didn't mention earrings, but personally I would find the strand much, much more wearable with the accompanying earrings. As mentioned above, the overtones and such vary, so I'd get them at the same time as the strand and ask them to match the earring pearls and metal to the strand.

Here's my reasoning:

Most of the women I know start with the classics, basics, whatever you'd call it, and this is it. High quality, nice sized, round white pearls go anywhere, casual to work to formal occasions. Some go on from there to also get other types of pearls and some don't.

This is a nice size. I believe "standard" is 7.0mm, so it's a tad larger than that. Also a good price point to stop at, because the next size up is double the price. I don't think this will ever be either too large or too small for her. But if you want to spend more, I definitely don't think you could go wrong by going up a size, either. About age and size, I think to some extent it's a status thing. Larger pearls cost more, simply put. Just as many of the ladies upgrade their engagement ring a couple of decades later, some are the same way with their pearls. Also, um, many women gain size with years and their pearls look proportionately smaller, haha.

I personally like the earrings a bit larger. This makes them stand out on their own rather than the just-another-pearl-from-the-strand look.

Pearl Paradise is a huge company with a great reputation. They also have an easy return policy, as long as it's not a custom order, which this would not be. They also ship fast (assuming you are in the US). If want to pick out your specific strand, they will email you pics to choose from. If you do that, I'd use the chat function on their site because it's quicker than the email. I've bought a few things from them and been very satisfied.

I'd request rose and silver overtone if available (it seems a popular choice and that way you don't have to choose one or the other).

Freshwater, because akoyas are much more expensive. And, as mentioned, the freshwaters hold up better for heavy wear.

Freshadama, because it is PP's highest of the highest quality (the best of their top AAA grade). As you've said, there is not standard grading. The exception is hanadama (akoya) pearls, which are certified, but much more expensive than either the freshwaters or the uncertified akoyas. Otherwise, each pearl company rates their own and uses their own system of ratings. So, it's especially important to choose a company you can trust.

I do not believe pearls are much of an investment. Like most jewelry, resale value is much less than what you paid and I don't think it can be counted on to go up over time. But that is the same with any type of pearl. It seems to me Tahitians and South sea tend to be later purchases, for those who really fall in love with pearls. Tahitians differ of course because they're black, and South Sea tend to be much larger than freshwaters. And, of course, both are much more expensive (for high quality). I'd forget the investment angle and focus on a high quality, good value that will last. In my opinion, since it's really not an investment, it makes sense to consider not spending too much, especially without knowing if she'll fall head-over-heels in love with pearls or only wear them occasionally.

I'd get the 18 inch because I believe 16" is more chokerish and in years to come if she puts on a few pounds, it may be too tight or in my opinion, just not look quite right. 18" seems a bit safer bet to me.

If I was asked to choose a set knowing only what you posted, this would be my choice. As always, just my opinion.

Let us know what you get!

 

[Amrita]

What a thoughtful husband you are, Cole!
I will keep this short as a lot of good expert opinion has been given out already. My choice would be: AAA metallic freshwaters (beautiful and durable), 8-9 mm, white (or multicolor) pearls, 17 inches - that would cover your questions about type, size, durability, colour, length etc.
Good luck and let us know what you choose.

 

[Dizzie]

Cole, let me second Wendy about the colours. I' m in my early thirties and I tend to wear my white pearls mostly for more formal occasions (though for me personally those are quite plenty, as my typical officewear is a suit) while multicoloured go lovely with jeans.

 

[waimeamomi]

Cole, What color is her hair and eyes? What colors does she wear a lot? Is she traditional, or trendy, or does she like something unique and unusual. What does type of jewelry does she wears the most? Simple gold chains, colorful stones or beads, delicate, chunky, a mix? Does she wear something on her neck on a regular basis? These would be very useful clues to her taste.

Where are you located? You might actually be able to check some things out in person.

All the info above is great, but you know her the best, so take it all and go with your guy instinct about her and what you would like to see her wearing!

 

[Pearl Dreams]

My first pearls were Freshadamas 7-8mm with 8-9mm matching earrings in silver-rose, and I am 5'4", but I much prefer both my multi-colored freshwaters that are 8-9mm and my 8-8.5" white metallics and 9-9.5mm matching earrings.

Here is a photo of my Freshadamas: https://www.pearl-guide.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=10435&d=1222185178

The Freshadamas match my skin tone almost too well (and therefore don't stand out.) I probably should have ordered silver overtones rather than silver-rose.
And they were just a size too small, but I got that size because there was such a price jump to the next size. I think buying smaller was a mistake for me-- so if you can afford the higher price for a size larger, my advice is to get the 8.5-9mm strand and the 9-9.5mm earrings.

That said, I was already in my 50s when I got them.

 

[Hanaleimom]

I suspect this is her first strand of higher-quality pearls, as opposed to costume jewelry pieces which she may have already owned or none at all. Have you asked her subtly to get a hint if she would like to wear pearls? Will she be wearing this on special occasion only or daily? You can try asking her sister, mom or best friends if she ever show any interests in pearls when passing by jewelry stores. If she is not into pearls but has her heart set on something else then this may not be a suitable present. As others have mentioned, it also depends on her style, coloring and clothing. Most would start out with white pearls first and add other colors later. However, everyone is different. Besides an inexpensive white, rice-shaped pearl strand with black beads that I owned when I was younger (more like costume jewelry), my first nice pearl purchases were black Tahitian pearls because I fell in love with them first. White pearls don't appeal to me as much.

Hopefully her relatives can clue you in so you can narrow down your choices. Go with online pearl retailers here at pearl-guide. Their return/exchange policy is an advantage especially in your situation.