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  1. #31
    Natural Pearl Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert KarinK's Avatar
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    I have had a hard time with this thread. It challenges me daily to find something I am grateful for but my 16 yr old gave into another deep, dark depression last week - one that has been held at bay for half a year. Along with the dive, Ida told me they have been cutting for 6 months. That they flush the snacks I've given them out in the toilet for as long and barely eat, I was told a couple of weeks ago. So my whole world has been filled not with Corona but endless thoughts about how I can best get help and what kind of help is best to get to, once more, try to save my child's life. Because if I do it wrong, the autism combined with all the other issues (trauma, gender dysphoria, PTSD, etc) will bring the opposite result. I keep trying to not be scared but see the opening to getting help as an important step forward, but I am scared. And have to fight it.

    This morning I was trying to give an example of how gratitude can help your mood, and I found out what I am grateful for. I am so grateful for Ida, my child. Following their path these past 5 years has constantly given me something new to learn and I love to learn. It has made me grow in so many way and it has made me a better person because of this growth. Being dedicated to Ida and them having a future gives me purpose in life and a goal. For that I am grateful too.

    As for help, I was going to go with a volunteer organisation that offers fast help and up to 12 sessions (a place to start) for self-harming kids with suicide thoughts. But they don't take in anyone new until the government restrictions are lifted so that's at least another month. Instead I am trying to find a private therapist that will work online (many do right now), has the right combination of experiences and isn't sending us off to the children's mental health care instead.

  2. #32
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    KarinK, life is tough now especially for those needing mental health care more than ever. My colleagues in community mental health have told me they have struggled with helping clients in crisis due to the social distancing rules. I hope your child gets access to the help they need, you are doing your best to help them! It's a challenging time to be alive in the middle of this pandemic, let alone being a young person struggling with so much going on.

    Sending love and virtual hugs to you and Ida!

  3. #33
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    I am grateful that my partner and I are still employed - he works from home now, I still have to come in to the clinic (healthcare worker). I am grateful that there is still protective equipment in my workplace and that our team is managing to carry on.

    I am grateful we have a roof over our heads and plenty of food in the freezer + pantry. I am grateful we have a garden and access to resources for exercising from home for the sake of keeping healthy.

    I am grateful for my wonderful supportive partner who helps with the shopping, housework and fixing any computer issues I run into. He reminds me that not everything is awful on days I come home from work feeling shattered and wanting to just throw in the towel. Today we put on some silly music and danced like we did in our student days (Gangnam style was the in thing then!)

  4. #34
    Natural Pearl Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert KarinK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IrisSL View Post
    KarinK, life is tough now especially for those needing mental health care more than ever. My colleagues in community mental health have told me they have struggled with helping clients in crisis due to the social distancing rules. I hope your child gets access to the help they need, you are doing your best to help them! It's a challenging time to be alive in the middle of this pandemic, let alone being a young person struggling with so much going on.

    Sending love and virtual hugs to you and Ida!
    Thank you! 'Funny' thing is, it has nothing to do with the pandemic. None of our routines have changes, Ida's only real friend is in another country so is online. Ida hates people and loves that there are fewer on the streets and no crowding and Ida will absolutely not be hugged. They were in a LGBT+ youth group but with extreme social anxiety it is not missed at the moment. The social distancing is an introvert's paradise!

  5. #35
    Rare Pearl Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert CathyKeshi's Avatar
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    I'm grateful today that my family and friends far away are all well, and I get to see their photos. I'm so grateful a wonderful musician friend has been playing free concerts these past 3 nights from his home in New Mexico; tonight will be the last one. And I'm grateful for this lovely and interesting place where KarinK can come and feel safe to talk with us, and know we're not alone.
    Cathy

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  6. #36
    Pearl Enthusiast Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert Pearl Dreams's Avatar
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    I am grateful for Easter itself, and for the lovely walk I enjoyed with my daughter in our neighborhood today.

    I am grateful for the hyacinths we were able to pick from our garden, as Easter doesn't quite seem like Easter without them.

    I am grateful for the rabbit that is braising in white wine with garlic and rosemary, which is going to be our supper.

    I am grateful for the simple pleasures of watching the cottontail rabbit that visits our yard regularly, the red fox that streaks through our yard from time to time, the chipmunk that comes by to beg a few sunflower seeds and peanuts, the soon-to-arrive ruby-throated hummingbirds (my nectar feeder is full and ready!) and the Estonian osprey webcams I have enjoyed watching for 7 years now. Last year's couples have returned from their migration and are starting their new families.

    I'm grateful that we are healthy.

  7. #37
    Member lizard's Avatar
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    Hi KarinK,
    I feel for you. I have a youngest child that went through something similar. It took a big toll on our family. Now 19, my youngest daughter is now my son. Has a trans-male partner, has completed some basic studies and got a job and a drivers licence. The cutting went on for many years, and it still makes me sad to see the scars. The whole episode also played a part in the end of my marriage. However, coming out the other end, life is good for all of us.

    The only things I can say are "this too will pass". It takes a lot to hang onto your calm, sense of humour and sanity. I found it useful to acknowledge to my child that life was tough for them - disagreeing or challenging or giving the Pollyanna view of life never helped. I stopped making suggestions, stood back, detached a little, threw away my expectations and let my child have the steering wheel on their life. It took time, but the other side is a better place and I think my child will be okay and I am a better person.

  8. #38
    Rare Pearl Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert CathyKeshi's Avatar
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    Today. Today I am grateful, ever so grateful for my own daughter. She is a hero. I am grateful for all daughters; who each in their turns of life are heroes in their ways, as they become whomever they are in their hearts. May their journeys lead them to where they need to be.
    Cathy

    CathyKeshi

  9. #39
    Natural Pearl Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert amti's Avatar
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    Today, I am grateful for life. Found out that the young officer who was shot and killed instantly just south of my city a couple of nights ago, was a neighborhood boy who grew up just down the street from me. He graduated the same high school a few years before my oldest, so I never met him. His mom still lives in this neighborhood. I put a blue ribbon on my light post this evening on my driveway in honor of him. Life is precious. Be safe, please.

  10. #40
    Pearlista Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert GemGeek's Avatar
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    Greetings, friends. It was good to share in your challenges and feel connected to you. I am so over working at home.

    My cat Oscar died at the ripe old age of 19. He's the one that went missing for almost three weeks, then lived another 8 years. The Cat That Lived.

    Things may be tough, but there are blessings all around us.

    Hugs,
    Blaire

    Oscar Beavers.jpg

  11. #41
    Rare Pearl Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert CathyKeshi's Avatar
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    Hugs back, Blaire. I'm grateful to look into Oscar's eyes and see how his love for you shines back on all of us. Hugs and Love.
    Cathy

    CathyKeshi

  12. #42
    Museum Pearl Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert BWeaves's Avatar
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    I'm grateful that my house is almost put back together again. On the plus side, it hasn't been this clean in 20 years. Forced us to move everything, throw stuff out, and clean under it. I'm also grateful that I still have a job and can afford to pay for all this mess, since my insurance isn't. And I'm grateful that despite a bunch of workers all through my house, half of them not wearing masks, that Greg and I still seem to be healthy.

    Oh, I'm sorry for your loss of Oscar. What a beauty.
    Last edited by BWeaves; 05-06-2020 at 07:44 PM.

  13. #43
    Pearl Enthusiast Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert Pearl Dreams's Avatar
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    Oscar was beautiful! I'm sorry for your loss, Blaire.
    How is Chester handling losing his buddy?

  14. #44
    Pearlista Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert GemGeek's Avatar
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    A clean house - now there's something to be grateful for, even if it had to come at a cost. I am keenly aware of how lucky I am to have a job that is solid. I feel terrible about people out of a job. As a former waitress at Disneyland's Blue Bayou restaurant, I had to save money for the period each year or two when we closed for four to six weeks to refurbish Pirates of the Caribbean. Every time I think about how people will not want to risk eating at restÓurants, my heart hurts for all the restaurant workers.

    Chester grieved for Oscar, but he's doing much better. After a week went by, I left Chester with Mom so he could adjust and so she could have him with her. He sleeps in all Oscar's favorite spots. It comforts him.

    Oscar was primarily my kitty until I bought a house. We laughed about it at the time, but Mom said she was keeping all three of our cats. Since I knew with my long commute that I wouldn't be around enough, and since she was retiring, I let her keep them and visited a lot. At the time it didn't seem right to get another cat.

    When Cleveland died, I felt like I could get my own cat and went to the Helen Woodward Animal Center and got Chester. A few days later, Mom's ocicat Savannah died. Oscar lived with Mom and Chester lived with me and we went back and forth, mostly me going there with Chester for a week, then home for a week. It was good. But Oscar was too old to want to play much. We agreed that I would not get a kitten for Chester until Oscar passed. Chester is 6 1/2 years old. I promised him a playmate, but I never dreamed Oscar would live such a long and healthy life. We all enjoyed every minute of his cattitude. He could leap to amazing heights even at the end. And he kept his trim and athletic figure. He was so dearly affectionate and he adored all of us. I see that this is some boring stuff, but I am thankful I can share it.

    And because of so many people working from home that are fostering kittens and sharing them with friends who now have the time to take on a kitten, they aren't widely available. I wÓnt an orange kitten, but I may get desperate. They have to be young, tested and vaccinated so Chester will not be put at risk. It will help to have a vulnerable little blank slate for Chester to accept them. By the time I get one, I'll be back at work, but he will be a good cat dad as Oscar was for him.

    Crazy cat/pearl lady

  15. #45
    Natural Pearl Senior Pearl-Guide.com Pearl Expert KarinK's Avatar
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    Absolutely not boring! I love reading this.

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