[knotty panda]

I thought we might need a place for the incredulous comments jewelers/appraisers/experts say about pearls. Here's my first story.

I have stumbled across some pearls billed as natural. They very well could be. But, before I buy them, I would like to make sure. Yesterday I called a place in Palm Beach who advertises a full-service lab, to ask if they x-ray. I told them the situation, I just want to verify they are indeed natural and not cultured.

They said, "Well, you know, 95% of pearls are cultured." Low estimate, I thought, but, "yeah," I said. "That's why I want an x-ray." "Well, you know, x-rays won't help you," they said. "Huh? Why is that?" I queried.

"'Cause", and here comes the punch line ... "NATURAL PEARLS AREN'T AS GOOD AS CULTURED!"

Well, the rest of the conversation is a blur of laughter. I may have hung up on this guy. Then I called Sharon.
-----------------------------------------
Sharon and I talked a bit and I sent her a picture of what I was considering buying. She obviously couldn't say definitively yes or no, but her suspicion was that they were cultured. So, I won't be buying them. However! You all have a great idea! I need to go see this guy who says cultured are better than natural!

[salem]

Too funny, Knotty. Too bad I don't have any good comments that I can remember.

[GemGeek]

That's weird. I know I've heard some wild things, but none come to mind. I'm really good at storage -- it's retrieval I have a problem with!

[Valeria101]

Hm... well, if they think the naturals are worse, maybe they can make a discount?

[xeresana]

Oh....oh....that is quite a statement. Quite a statement. I have heard some bizarre things about pearls but, I haven't quite heard that one yet. I wonder if someone out there wants to trade their "not as good" naturals for a strand of cultured pearls? I'll be happy to enter into that trade.

[Slraep]

I think I mentioned these two scenerios on another thread somewhere, but I was told by a salesperson in a very posh and well known jewellery store here that, "keshis were very rare because they were not finding anymore on the Isle of Keshi". Another was something my assistant told me. She said that in France, jewellers routinely tell customers that pearls are alive and that they die in about ten years. Hmm, they must be talking about akoyas. What an unusual marketing strategy! Hey, instead of revealing the truth to their customers---that the MOP bead is now showing, just lie and say the whole necklace died and that you will have to get another one. Brilliant!

Of course, the grand prize for most silly things said about pearls goes to Zeide G. Erskine, and is the story of the string of natural red Lop Nur pearls that only she and the Dalai Lama possessed. Oh, just remembered another Z. Erskine pearl story---haliotis kamchatkana and haliotis rufens stick pearls that formed around surgical bandaids. And the infamous Heilongiang transgrafted pearls(freshwater to saltwater). The natural black Vietnamese pearls. The lamprotulas. The pteria penguin baroque pearls she paid a Korean farmer to culture for her.....etc...etc...

Slraep

[Caitlin]

Don't forget the pteria sterna pearls she sent me. Natural ones taken from the gulf off of La Paz by a Yaqui pearl diver..........

[knotty panda]

Slraep: LOL How funny! Where is the Isle of Keshi? Or is it Keishi? Well, that's precisely why I started this thread. I thought when we needed a giggle we could zoom right in on it. I love it!

[Valeria101]

I think that the Vietnamese were reported in some newspaper. If that's a prank, it is even bigger

[Slraep]

Originally Posted by Valeria101

I think that the Vietnamese were reported in some newspaper. If that's a prank, it is even bigger

Hi Ana,

Yes, you are right. The black Vietnamese pearls do exist! I meant to say that Zeide imagined she actually owned some, just like she imagined she owned some unusually coloured bead nucleated pearls from Prof. Berni's research. All figments of her imagination.

Slraep

[Raisondetre]

I think it's entirely possible she still browses the forum ... she did bring some fun and entertainment while she was here though.

[Valeria101]

Fun? Oh, yeah... it made me want to ask THESE GUYS for the job!

[boo]

Originally Posted by Valeria101

Fun? Oh, yeah... it made me want to ask THESE GUYS for the job!

Hmmm, turning Jamie and Adam loose on that subject would be fun and entertaining...

[lemur]

Originally Posted by Raisondetre

I think it's entirely possible she still browses the forum ... she did bring some fun and entertainment while she was here though.

Has anyone here considered that perhaps this Zeide character was having a bit of fun with all of you? Perhaps she was going to bed every night thinking, "Too funny. These people are buying my lies hook, line, and sinker!"

As they say, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing...

[Casey.R]

I don't think she's posted much since I've been here. Did I miss something?